Just-talking-out-loud

Last night, I prayed to God. I have not done that for a long time, embarrassed to confess. However, when you see yourself completely helpless, that is what you do. You reach to something bigger than you, bigger than life itself. It is another very stressful time. But life has shown me that this shall pass too. Let’s hope for the best and brighter days. The fact that you are afraid of doing something should not stop you from doing it. You need to take some risk if you want to see change in your situation. Things are going to a right direction even though it is not ideal. You need to put your brave mask on, be determined more than ever in your life, and go for it.

Now that U.S. troops are saying goodbye to Iraq, I hope everyone spends sometime and think about the very stupid concept of war. According to an article by the New York Times, the 3 deadliest wars in history are the World War II (66 million deaths), Genghis Kahn (40 million deaths), and Mao Zedong (40 million deaths). If you consider the percentage of population that got killed in those brutal wars, Genghis Kahn ranks first (11.1%) and World War II ranks 6 (2.6%). Their main source is the book by Matthew White, "The Great Big Book of Horrible Things". If we know the end results of the war, why some people still thing it is the only solution or it is the best solution. 2011 is almost coming to the end. I wish a safer year for all people in the world specially people in Iran. Amen! p.s. Iran-Iraq war ranks 61/100 with 0.7 million deaths.

I so need to become a better writer. It took me almost half a day to write a freaking professional letter :(

I came across this great blog post, 12 Things Happy People Do Differently . I wrote up a summary for myself below. Express gratitude: “that’s without having to go out and buy anything.” You already have what makes you happy. Cultivate optimism: “People who think optimistically see the world as a place packed with endless opportunities, especially in trying times.” Avoid over thinking and social comparison: these are actually too different things! - I am the queen of over thinkers, sadly. So I spend countless hours, wasting my time, thinking about something that might not be right or might never happen. - You don’t want to be Kanya West and indeed you are noting less that anyone around you. No one’s life is prefect even if it seems prefect. “Comparing yourself to someone else can be poisonous.” Practice acts of kindness: I say practice acts of kindness as long as you are kind to yourself . If in order to say YES to someone, you have to say NO to yourself.... DO NOT DO IT! If ...

I like this singer. I love her voice.

It is almost 2:30 in the afternoon and I just realized that the pair of socks I am wearing do not match. I am losing it!

I never tried to be judgmental. I was trying to be honest and said my own opinion. I feel really bad now because I feel I heard a friend. I don’t know how to fix it now.

“We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.”                                                                      ― Winston S. Churchill

Is that for real?!

From: I'm in science Facabook group

The path is long, the road is dark, and I am tried. There is a stroke of light coming out from time to time but it is not enough to see anything.

Photo from here  -Do you get the day off on Remembrance Day? --No. We only will be having 2 mins of silence at 11 am. -Is that because you talk too much? -- :D I have a very different feeling toward the Remembrance Day! My whole philosophy about military, arm forces, war, and patriotism is not only different but can even be offensive to some. I am against all of them. I grew up in the war and I am still remembering the time we had to go to shelters because of Iraq bombings. There are always two sides of stories in a given war; both sides are the victims of some stupid politicians. If we have lost people, it was because we have also killed people from the other side. This is a conversation I will never have with my Canadian friends and colleagues who are strongly wearing the red poppies. I don’t think they will ever understand me.

 Photo from here . “The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.” Either by Ogden Nash or Charles Caleb Colton (I am not sure)

Photo from here . “God puts rainbows in the clouds so that each of us- in the dreariest and most dreaded moments- can see a possibility of hope.” Maya Angelou  Some time ago, I had the pleasure of attending one of Maya Angelou’s talks. I was very excited about listing to her. When I bought the ticket, I told to myself that was an early birthday present for me. I went for the talk to be inspired and to figure out why this woman was so successful as she was. Although I never regret going to that talk (since I learned one or two things), the talk was not as inspiring as I hoped. I had heard better talks before. She is not one of those people that I call gifted public speakers. She was witty and smart but didn’t really do it for me. However, what I learned was that I can be a rainbow in someone’s cloud. When she was talking about a rainbow, she was talking about her cripple poor uncle who not only changed her life but had an impact on other kids in the neighbourhood. When she was t...

Source: I have no idea! I got it from facebook.

I think I am ready to try that 30 days practice. The one that is saying if you do something persistently for 30 days , it will stick with you. I sort of believe in that and also I came across this article  which inspired me to do this right now. Therefore, for the next 30 days, I would like to polish my French a bit and review those grammar and vocabularies that are long forgotten. I have started with 30 minutes French study since yesterday. I also need to go back to gym regularly. My body and soul needs it badly. But I cannot committee to the gym every day. First, because I don’t have time for it; second, it is not really healthy. I am hoping for 3 to 4 days per week. I also would like to add writing to the list but for now I think it is better to add regular reading, at least one article per day and bed time reading.

No one really knows I am a blogger. I know it is something normal nowadays and most people do it. However, I just want to be by myself when I am writing. I don’t mean that I am not myself other times but I don't want to feel worry or consider other peoples’ feelings in my blog. This is my space... Having said that I think I over reacted when a very good friend of mine found out about my blog.

Today, I came across this article, How to choose a good scientific problem. It is a bit old but there are some intersting messages in it. It is only three pages long and if you have your own research lab or if you are thinking of doing graduate studies, I recommend you reading this article.

I don’t have time to elaborate more on this. I will come back later to write more but sometimes my heart breaks for all the suffering in the world. Some people deserve better, much better.

Some of the coolest scientists and cleanest labs I have ever seen. Every hit on this video sends money to cancer research.

From here .

هر كجا هستم ، باشم‌، آسمان مال من است‌. پنجره‌، فكر ، هوا ، عشق ، زمين مال من است‌. چه اهميت دارد گاه اگر مي رويند قارچهاي غربت؟ Wherever I am, let me be! The Sky is mine. The windows, the mind, the air, love, earth, are all mine. What does it matter if mushrooms of nostalgia grow from time to time? (Sepehri 58)"

Hello! Is it me you're looking for?

The smile of bus driver while being careful not to splash me on a rainy day.. ...priceless

I am mentally and physically tired. That is the only reason I am posting this here. It is interesting that it does not make me emotional. It is more calming than anything else.

I guess it is a good thing that I am very busy but don't have time to check out my favourite blogs!

Talking about the colour of my bra was fun but I decided to do something different. Inspired by my boss and for personal fulfilment, yesterday, I ran 5K alongside many other people who were running for Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation. I was a bit concerned that I couldn’t do it since I didn’t have time to train for it. This morning, I felt it in my legs but it feels great; the same great feeling when I reached the finish line. All the runners/walkers will be given a piece of paper on which is written “I am running for...” and you are supposed to fill in the blank. I became quite overwhelmed as I was reading what everyone wrote. They were couple that were inspiring too. Among those this one stayed with me For because I can, so others can too.

I didn’t know stress reduces the iron blood level. I went for my appointment to the blood clinic for another donation and they didn’t take me. The nurse gave me a list of recommended food and nutrition for me to have more, one week before my next appointment. I was thinking too much about the sucky situation at work and other sucky aspects of my life. However, things changed and I feel better now but I am just worried that this is a temporarily solution. 

I was craving for hearning this song this morning. This is very strange but I am feeling 'better' after hearning it :) 

Last night, I was told 2-3 stories that I will share here (pending if I remember one of them!) for people who are looking for something positive or simply like to hear fun stories.  She told me about this friend of her that was a very accomplished, smart woman. She was single and didn’t go out much either. Every time one of the friends called her to invite her for a social event, she would come up with an excuse to not leave home. They started telling her “if you don’t go out how you do expect to meet someone? The prince charming will not come knocking on your door, you know.” Years passed and she moved to a new place. One day, a guy knocked on her door asking for the previous residents. The two of them are engaged now. Although I do not believe in prince charmings, I do believe in destiny.

Cognac Monnet by Leonetto Cappiello (1875 – 1942) 

The picture is from here I am very stressed today because I am so unorganized and have a lot to do. So I need something fun to take the pressure off. This picture made me smaile. I hope it does the same to you.

"My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world." - Jack Layton

I have discovered this tool recently. Send invitation to your friends to get more storage space.

I came across this TV series called “The Big C”. I have only watched couple of episodes so far but I like what I have watched. It is a story of a woman who has diagnosed with terminal cancer and trying to shake up her life and change what she can change. So far, her compulsive behaviour and her wild attitude has made this series very entertaining and at the same time makes you realize to not take your life for granted; don’t let time/life pass you by; and enjoy while there's more grains of sand left in your hourglass.

I am not very impressed with the movie but the soundtracks were so good.

There are two aspect in this story; It is interesting how they feel about their new environment and how other people think of them. Is it right to contaminate the simple lives of some people with something that we call life? I am wondering if they will ever be happy when they go back home or if they will be happy to stay and adapt to their new lives. I am wondering if some Americans have sacrificed a quality of life for something that they think is freedom. What freedom really is? Do they really have freedom? I should come back and write more about this video but now I am not in the mood.

مثل تو پیدا نمیشه دلبری = You are such a coquetry

Source from here . I wish there was a coffee shop like this aroundand I could spend Saturday/Sunday morning there.

I love Iranian cuisine. We know how to turn eggplants to the most delicious dishes, how to combine pomegranate paste with walnut to create some of the most toothsome meals, but let’s face it. When it comes to zucchinis, we are hopeless or at least my mom only knows one dish with zucchinis which I am not particularly a fan of. I made this over the weekend and it turned out great. I made up the recipe but looked up couple of recipes at simply recipes for inspiration. • 3 zucchinis (sliced) • 3 eggs • 1 small onion (finely chopped) • 1 cup cheddar cheese • 1/4 teaspoon any hot chili sauce or chili peppers • 1 teaspoon salt • 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper • 1/2 tablespoon dry rosemary • 1/2 tablespoon dry bay leaves • 1 cups cubed day-old bread (from about 2 slices or a baguette) • 1 tablespoon Olive oil • 1 tablespoon melted butter Preheat oven to 350°F. In a large bowl beat the eggs. Add all other ingredients except the bread, ½ cheese, and butter. Then mix...

To all my lovely Iranian fellows who are planning to apply for any Canadian Universities, please consider that you are putting me in a very awkward situation by asking specific questions, which I do not know the answer to. There is this old high school friend who has decided to come to Canada. Now she is applying for the winter term and she has less than a month before the deadline. I am sorry if I can’t recommend whether you should apply for a master degree or ph.d because you want to know which one has a better job market after graduation. Even if I knew your chances of finding a job with a master or ph.d now, who knows how the economy would be like by the time you graduate.  Also, I don’t know which university is better in Environmental Engineering, Waste Management. This is too specific and you should ask someone who is already in this field.  If I don’t give you specific answers is not because I don’t want to help you but it is because I don’t know. I am sorry if I c...

Although I am pretty content about my current profession; and cooking has been my passion and dream of being a chief has been always and will be with me; and love of jewellery makes me envy and admire jewellery designers, if I had the chance to do it all over again, I would become a psychologist.

Treat yourself the way you treat your best friends. That means be gentle, be honest, and be kind.

Some relatives are as precious as family members. One of those people is one of my mom’s aunts. I love her and her whole family dearly. She is only couple of years older than my mom and her daughter is my age. We almost grew up together. Couple of months ago a relative called my mom from Iran and told her she wants to come to Canada for a visit. This news made my mom very happy particularly when she came up with the idea of calling her aunt and ask her to take advantage of this opportunity and come to Canada with that relative. My mom’s aunt has never travelled by herself, she doesn’t speak English, and the idea of coming to Canada was just terrifying. After my mom and her kids insisted on her visit, she finally agreed to apply for Canadian visa along with that relative. After couple of months, she called my mom to tell her that she was the only one who got the visa.

One of the most valuable aspect of moving is the fact that you find some of your old hidden treasures. I have a very good moving record!! I was 4 or 5 years old when we moved to Tehran from Esfahan. Then years later, I moved to Montreal. Since then, I have lived in 5 different cities. Some of my stuff moved with me everywhere I went but the rest stayed in my parents’ basement for convenience. Now that they have moved, I am discovering some of the old stuff that we took with us from Iran. One of those things was a notebook that I circulated among my high school friends the last year of high school. It was pretty common for friends to write something for you on your diary or journal before you say good-bye to each other. I was reading them and laughing my heads off. I had very witty friends and we were very close. One of them wrote this: (I tried to translate it into English but I will also leave the original version here because it is just too cute not to share) .“You know what one see...

My parents are moving after 11 years. This might not be that long for some people who live all their lives in one home but for my parents that is a long time. While they were in Iran, the average time they stayed in the same house was 2 years, the longest was 5 years. But things are different on the other side of the pond. They do not know as many people as they used to back in Iran. Just by one phone call, we had many helpers who would come over to move our stuff to the new place with pleasure. Here, you have to call in advance, book movers, and then everything is a lot more costly. I am visiting my family and sort of helping them with the move (I am not sure how helpful I am thought). However, it has not been the smoothest move ever since they have been renovating the new house and it is not finished! The kitchen is half done. The new bathroom was not functioning at the beginning. Thank God it was nothing serious, things are still in boxes and you can’t really find anything around h...

This is an interesting read. Tips for traveling by Paulo Coelho. I got the Alchemist from the library yesterday. I have read it while ago in Farsi when I was in Iran. I think it is time to read it again. This book will be a very nice companion for me during my trip.  

Is it goning to be the end for Facebook? Too bad they couldn't come up with a better name.

It is not cool to use someone else’s hair comb with or without their permission. When I think our future doctors might not understand simple rules for personal hygiene, I feel a cold shiver running through my body. How can I deal with this now? How do I put positive spin to this experience? I mean having annoying person around me. 

I just read this post . It breaks my hearth everytime I get to know more about other people's reality. I do believe in God. I am just wondering how long people have to wait to see justice.

I have a wonderful granduncle, who I adore, from my mother side. He has one of those sweet Esfahani accent and very good voice. Without having any formal training, he sang when we used to get together or go out for a picnic. This song, mikham beram kooh , always reminds me of him.

My future living room is something like this :)

. Couple of weeks ago OpenCulture posted an entry about a six-part series titled “How TV Ruined Your Life” . While I found it very ironic that there is a TV series talking about how bad TV is for our society and for individual growth, I couldn’t help but agreeing with Charlie Brooke, the program host. For someone who does not own a TV and has no plan to get one, but still follows her favourite programs online, I can see his point. He has a very sarcastic tone, somewhat depressing, throughout the series. However, I recommend everyone watching this series. So far, I have watched couple of them and my intent is to watch them all. The one that stood out for me was the one on the topic of LOVE. Aside from being very creative and having the element of wittiness all throughout the program, I thought this is food for thoughts. I asked myself how I define the concept of LOVE. To be honest I do not know. I know I don’t believe in “love at first sight”. I do not believe in soulmate a...

"They were careless people... they smashed up things and creatures and retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness, or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made... " from The Great Gatsby , p182. and with this, I finally finished the book. It was a nice read but I don't know why it took me forever to finish it. Also, I just realized that they are remaking the movie. It is coming next year. That is exciting and makes me happier to read the book.

It is Canada Day today and the highlight of my day was 1hr skype conversation with a dear friend. Only if i could have my dearest friends and love ones close to me.

With everything that‘s been happening and not settled yet, I had a lot of time to have negative thoughts and no time for reflection. As the result my blog entries look poorer and poorer and I feel lost more than ever. I need to spend some time just for myself and for this blog. It has proven to me that in many occasions writing here helped me to keep my sanity.  One of my biggest flaws is that I take in almost everything. I avoid expressing my feelings. I establish relationships (professional or personal) based on false expectations. People think treating me this way or that way is all right and does not bother me. They think their certain behaviour is approved by me. Then, there is one day that I realize that I can’t stand that person anymore and ...  Another problem is that I expect certain people to have the same level of common sense as I do. Is it too much to expect a 22 years old to not leave half of her apple on the kitchen countertop for couple of days because it at...

"Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness." I found this on Paulo Coelho's Blog. I should pick up one of his books again and read it. 

Have this ever happened to you? You want something badly; you wait for it for a long time to get it but when you have it, it doesn’t seem like what you imagined it would be.

I am going through a very bad phase for the past few days. Every little thing annoys me. For example, I can’t stand receiving these messages on Facebook in Spanish. There is this group of Spanish speaking friends who are too insensitive to other people in the group. They carry a discussion on facebook in Spanish. I never asked to be part of your stupid discussion but if you see my name among others who are receiving your messages, be courteous and write in freaking English. So what I did this morning, I wrote in Farsi to the whole group and I am the only one who understands Farsi. The sad part is, so far there was only one person who got it. Someone wants to know what I wrote and there was another person who continues writing in Spanish!!! I need to keep my distance from people before I say stuff that hurt others.

I can see you're thinking baby I've been thinking too about the way we used to be and how to star a new Maybe I'm a hopeless dreamer maybe I've got it wrong but i'm going where the grass is green if you like to come along Back when i was starting out I always wanted more but every time I got it I still felt just like before Fortune is a fickle friend I'm tired of chasing fate and when I look into your eyes I know you feel the same All these years of living large are starting to do a sin I wont say it wasn't fun but now it has to end Life is moving oh so fast I think we should take it slow rest our heads upon the grass and listen to it grow Going where the hills are green and the cars are few and far days are full of splendor and at night you can see the stars Life's been moving oh so fast I think we should take it slow rest our heads upon the grass and listen to it grow  Pink Martini