10 December 2008

Slumdog Millionaire

Slumdog Millionaire (2008), photo from here.

Slumdog Millionaire is a blend of sadness and humour. It takes you to India from Bombay’s slums to the beautiful Taj Mahal. It tells the life story of two brothers, Jamal and Salim; the darkest times and the most overwhelming moments of their lives. It is about the ups and downs of growing up in India or better yet surviving. I went to see it with no expectation and it turned out to be one of the best movies I have seen this past year. I was truly touched. The movie is only based on a novel but it breaks my heart just by knowing that this story is the reality of life for so many children.

p.s. I wanted to respond to all the comments but I realized that I was away for too long. So I thank everyone for their comments in the last two posts.

10 November 2008

another post without a title

There is old Iranian saying that "when you are out of your mind, you torture yourself" [vaghti aghel nabashad, jaan dar azab ast]. Well, it was the other day that I went to the gym because I want(ed) to loss weight, live healthier, and bla-bla-bla... . Anyway I went to the gym and enjoyed my workout. When I came out, I went to McDonald’s to get a burger. What is going on with me??

8 November 2008

She says that she suggested online dating to her dad. He is now engaged to this lady that he met online. I asked her how she feels about it and she says that she is happy for his dad because she has not seen him so happy for a long time. However, she is worried that she has to break the news to her mom. They have been spit up for over 10 years now. But she knows her mom will be devastated.

Although I was curious, I didn't ask what went wrong that caused them to break up. I thought if she wanted to elaborate on that she would. I thought her parents are lucky individuals; her dad for having her support and her mom to have such a caring daughter.

This is so different than what some Iranian would like to accept. I remember a friend of family who got married after her husband died. There were all sorts of resentment against her specially from her children. It would be nice to support everyone for their life choices; whatever that might be. One might want to move on and the other one would never be ready to get over what s/he had.

30 October 2008

A drop of sun

Vancouver, October 2008

When I was in Ottawa, I used to pass by a Tanning & Body Salon called "A drop of Sun" every day. I always thought what a waste of name. If something is named “a drop of sun”, it has to make people smile, like this truck!

p.s. I've so much to write here but I don't have time.

25 October 2008

A leatherback sea turtle- photo by Martin Dee- From here.

I like this photo for no particular reason other than nature is fascinating.

16 October 2008

While I was studying and listening to this, I found this picture and the source is from here.

13 October 2008

Happy Thanksgiving!

The 2008 turkey

Tomorrow is the Canadian Thanksgiving but I had my party tonight. My friend Neda and I successfully cooked 14lb turkey today. Everything went well and the turkey was prefect or as Neda likes to say it was delicious- crispy on the outside and moist on the inside. Everyone had a good time and my guests of honour, my sister and her husband, came too. I was so worried for this turkey to not come out well. I'm happy that everything went well and it's over. Now it's too late to upload a photo here and I'm very tired. I'll post a picture later.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

9 October 2008

The 9th Anniversary

As the sun sets, it will be nine years since I left my birthplace. While it seems a long time ago, it is not that long either. I do not have a clear memory of all those days that flew by so fast. All the details are somehow fuzzy. So much has happened and so much has changed. The stress of those early days has long gone and replaced by other types of uncertainties. I guess that is the nature of life. No one knows about the future and what will happen eventually. At least I think I am in peace with myself (most of the time). I consider this as a blessing since I have never been easy on myself- like most of the people I know. At least I like where I am and I love the fact that I am surrounded by so many wonderful people.

I used to dislike immigration, all aspects of it; the strange feeling of homesickness, being away from people I love, and the pain of being a foreigner in a strange land. By the time I got used to my adapted country, adjusted to new environment, and found new friends, I realized that I no longer belong to any place. That is what immigration does to you. Sometimes you have to compromise to adapt. If my non-Iranian friends are talking about their favourite childhood cartoons, I have to sit back and listen. On the other hand, when I am among my newly arrived Iranian friends, I am puzzled by what Barbardeh is. But should this be an issue? Does it really matter that I believe it is not accurate to write down a name of a city as my hometown on Facebook? As Nazy says I like to think “I am a citizen of this planet”. Why should geographical boundaries matter so much?

I have been exposed to so many different cultures. I have experienced some of them in depth. I am happy to see myself as someone who has the ability to communicate and interact with different people independent of their ethnic backgrounds and their nationalities. When I see someone, I see a person. I do not see their skin/hair colour, etc.

8 October 2008

To all FARSI bloggers, I pat you on the back!

According to the Technorati report (2006), "English and Japanese remain the two most popular languages in the blogosphere. …Chinese remains at number three, and Farsi (spoken in Iran and Afghanistan) has moved into the top 10 languages of the blogosphere”.

4 October 2008

No woman No cry

No woman No cry by Bob Marley.
Lately, I'm in the mood for Bob Marley’s songs.

I had such a busy week, starting from last Friday. For the first time in my schooldays, I sacrificed my study to socialize. It was very enjoyable-some more than the others. Then the reality kicked in. I had to submit two assignments. I realized that I totally underestimate how much time I needed to actually finish one of them. When we were discussing the assignment in the class, my professor, who I really admire for her teaching method, said “this assignment is a gift from me to you guys…”. I didn't know you can be so troubled by a gift. I should send her a thank you note. Also should mention that next time please let me pick my own gift.

Anyway, I should be smarter in my time management. I don't want to miss anymore work and my classes, and then lock myself up in my room for 24 hrs because I'm trying to catch up with my assignments and the projects that are piling up.

12 September 2008

Creative approach in food writing

I just finished reading a very interesting article on Turkish cuisine. It was called “Sufi Gourmet”. I should say it was more about Mowlana (Mevlana) though. I really enjoyed it because as the author of the article, Marcello Di Cintio, says "food-writing has to be about culture". I learned new things about Mowlana today as well as tasty Turkish food. I recommend reading this article. Be aware of the content of this article if you fast these days. You might want to put it off until after eftar (sunset).

Get a new perspective

Shoreline ,1936 by Emily Carr- Photo from McMichael Canadian Art Collection- Vancouver Art Gallery

This past week has been chilly but sunny. It’s made me to enjoy the September breeze as I walk in my favourite neighbourhood.

It's nice to not drag myself out of the bed every morning because I'm excited about starting a new day.

It's nice when I go to bed every night, I'm so tired that I fall asleep right away.

It's nice to be busy again with challenges and to be able to enjoy them. Not much is happening but a lot is new to keep me occupied.

8 September 2008

My new project

So much for this weekend and so much for my plans to study. I haven't touched any school work that I was supposed to read. Now instead of reading I'm writing here.

Anyway, for one of my practical projects, I volunteered myself to classify and catalogue a number of Farsi books. This collection has been donated to one the universities here in Vancouver. I went to see the project manager last week. It's about 1 hour and half commute to get there. I don't know what I was thinking when I signed up for it. I believe when I heard they needed someone who knew Farsi, I was so happy that I didn't consider anything else. I didn't even consider the fact that I was not a huge fan of cataloguing. The only thing I knew was I missed touching Farsi books.

Anyway, it turned out that the collection is consisted of 800 books. I'm not sure if I have the time to finish them all. I went to the storage area to look at the books. I saw the complete volume of Loghat Naameh Dehkhoda, Divane Hafez, Shah nameh, Molasadra, and,,,. I made sure that they saw the spark in my eyes as I was holding the books and inspecting them. I made sure they knew that this was one of the best collections I have ever seen. I think they are grateful for receiving it although it means more work for them.

6 September 2008

Today’s list

1- My friend Mélanie facebooked me today saying that she was pregnant. That was the best news I could hear today. She has been trying and waiting for this pregnancy for so long. I'm very happy for her. She is one of the best mom I know. she deserves all the happiness...

2- Lately I am listening to this. It is one of my grandpa’s favourite songs. I miss my grandparents specially knowing that my grandma has a bad knee and she is suffering. I am thinking of them...

3- Sometimes stuff happens and I pretend it doesn't matter and doesn't bother me. I smile and walk away. Now I'm sitting here wondering what I did wrong...

4 September 2008

My daily visits get shorter and shorter!

It seems that the blogging market is very quiet lately. I hope it comes back to normal.

1 September 2008


Flirting comes naturally to some people. I'm not one of them...

31 August 2008

I'm back

After such a long absent, I'm back. I've moved, unpacked, and organized a ton of papers. I think it's safe to say that I'm ready for a new term.

Yesterday was the moving day here on campus. There were cars and people everywhere. You could feel the energy. It was fun to watch people trying to find their way around the campus. As I was walking by the bookstore on campus, I saw new freshmen with their parents waiting in the line to get their student ID. I thought of these students when they started the elementary school. The first day of school, they were accompanied by their parents. Now, 18 years later, they are coming to university and again they are with their parents.

I thought that might be a good thing for parents to realize that no matter how old your kids are they always need you.

Farewell Ottawa

This is what I wrote when I was leaving Ottawa. Because I was very busy I did't have the time to edit it and post it. Since I really like to have here on my blog, I decided to post it now.

I am saying good bye to the Rideua Canal which was my favourite spot in Ottawa. It was the most visited site by me. I biked, jugged, and took long walks there.
I am saying goodbye to the Ottawa River, Ottawa Public Library, Tunney’s, ByWard Market, South Bank, Glibe, and Willington St. I am saying goodbye to the Parliament Hill where you can see the ocean from!!
I am saying goodbye to all my noisy and disrespectful neighbours.
Finally I am saying goodbye to the two best roommates I have ever had. I cherish all the laughter, shopping, and good times I had with them.
Farewell Ottawa, it was an interesting summer.

18 August 2008

By living with others, you get to know yourself better. I am who I am and I don't want to change some stuff about myself. I like myself for those qualities that some people think they can never find in others.

17 August 2008


This is a cute animation by Louis Clichy and about love, life, and all its ups and downs. It reminded me of “You are not prefect; nor the person you are in love with. All it matters is that whether you are prefect for each other”. From Good Will Hunting

A quoi ca sert, l’amour ?
On raconte toujours
Des histoires insensées
A quoi ca sert d’aimer ?

L’amour ne s’explique pas !
C’est une chose comme ca !
Qui vient on ne sait d’où
Et vous prend tout à coup.

Moi, j’ai entendu dire
Que l’amour fait souffrir,
Que l’amour fait pleurer,
A quoi ca sert d’aimer ?

L’amour, ca sert à quoi ?
A nous donner d’la joie
Avec des larmes aux yeux…
C’est triste et merveilleux !

Pourtant on dit souvent
Que l’amour est décevant
Qu’il y a un sur deux
Qui n’est jamais heureux…

Meme quand on l’a perdu
L’amour qu’on a connu
Vous laisse un gout de miel -
L’amour c’est éternel !

Tout ca c’est très joli,
Mais quand tout est fini
Il ne vous reste rien
Qu’un immense chagrin…

Tout ce qui maintenant
Te semble déchirant
Demain, sera pour toi
Un souvenir de joie !

En somme, si j’ai compris,
Sans amour dans la vie,
Sans ses joies, ses chagrins,
On a vécu pour rien ?

Mais oui! Regarde-moi !
A chaque fois j’y crois !
Et j’y croirait toujours…
Ça sert à ca l’amour !

Mais toi, tu es le dernier !
Mais toi’ tu es le premier !
Avant toi y avait rien
Avec toi je suis bien !

C’est toi que je voulais !
C’est toi qu’il me fallait !
Toi que j’aimerais toujours…
Ça sert à ca l’amour !

Art of Balance (part 2)

The Artist in action, Ottawa River, Aug 2008

Cleopatra, Aug 2008

The Kiss, Aug 2008

I have got more pictures of balanced rock sculptures and come up with names. Enjoy!!!

13 August 2008

the Contrast

It just hit me that there was a time in my life that I was living in the past, surrounded by all sort of nostalgia. I never thought of living in a better place, in a better time, and actually enjoying my life. Now I have another problem. I live for the future.

11 August 2008

Funny in Farsi

"I believe peace in the Middle East could be achieved if the various leaders held their discussion in front of a giant bowl of Persian ice cream, each leader with his own silver spoon. Political differences would melt with every mouthful". Form Funny in Farsi by Firoozeh Dumas

This is such a nice sentiment, funny and clever. However, instead of enjoying Firoozeh' wit, I am craving Faloodeh Shiraz with fresh lime juice, at this moment.

8 August 2008

Friday: a lucky lucky lucky day

Apparently, today is a very lucky, lucky, lucky day. The date, Aug. 8, 2008, translates into 8-8-8 - and in Chinese culture, the number eight signifies wealth and good fortune.

If you want to get married, you should do it today. Just a thought.

7 August 2008

Art of Balance

Ottawa River, July 2008

This is a creation of balanced rock sculpture by John Felice Ceprano. In 1986, he started using unaltered natural rocks to build ephemeral sculptures by hand. Later on, the sculptures are stabilized with glue.

6 August 2008

On Dialogue!!

On Dialogue or as I like to call it "the secret to the social reconciliation"

It took me longer to gather my thoughts and write about this book than to read the book itself. Anyway I managed to do both. I believe this isn't a book that you should read once. I know that I need to read it over and over to be able to develop my personality based on its concept. To me, this book is a guideline to self-awareness. It helped / will be helping me to be aware of my mind, my thoughts, and my roles not as an individual in the society but as a member of my society.

In the next two paragraphs, I've picked some of the most enlightening phrases from the book. I've quoted Bohm directly from his book for those who are not familiar with the concept of Bohm Dialogue.

According to Bohm, "the word Dialogue means “a stream of meaning and ideas” among a group of people. It is possible that it occurs even within one person’s head (from page 7). …While Discussion is like a ping-pong game that ideas are going back and forth and the goal is to win, Dialogue is only talking about ideas; nor believe them neither disbelieve them and definitely not to judge them as good or as bad… The objective of a dialogue is not to analyze things, or to win an argument, or to exchange opinions. Rather, it is to suspend your opinion and to look at the opinions … and to see what all that means. If we can see what all of our opinions mean, then we are sharing a common content, even if we do not agree entirely". (from page 30)

"…I am saying that it is necessary to share meaning. A society is a link of relationships among people and institutions, so that we can live together. But it only works if we have a culture- which implies that we share meaning; i.e., significance, purpose, and value. Otherwise it falls apart. Our society is incoherent, and doesn’t do that very well; it hasn’t for a long time, if it ever did". (from page 22)

“…Dialogue is “socio-therapy” not individual therapy… This is not group therapy”. It is supposed to transform everyone in the group and help them to reach that higher level, which is "sharing a common content".

You can find the principles of dialogue as established by David Bohm here.

I was intrigued by the idea of Dialogue maybe because of the examples Bohm provided throughout his book. As a scientist, he knew exactly how scientific community works; its flaws and shortcomings. I used to consider myself a scientist. I've been studying science most of my adult life. I've been in close contact with many many scientists for long time. Maybe that was the reason that I could easily relate to his examples and nod as I was reading the book page after page.

“Science is supposed to be dedicated to truth and fact, and religion is supposed to be dedicated to another kind of truth and to love. But people self-interest and assumptions take over (from page 14). ... Science is predicated on the concept that science is arriving at truth- at a unique truth. The idea of dialogue is thereby in some way foreign to the current structure of science, as it is with religion. In a way, science has become the religion of the modern age. It plays the role which religion used to play of giving us truth; hence different scientists cannot come together any more than different religions can, once they have different notions of truth". (from page 43-44)

I am not trying to generalize here. I know there are many scientists out there who are open-minded and very good in communication. However, I've met so many high ranked scientists who reject any ideas that contradict their own. They only believe in a unique truth- not different possible truths- and that is not limited to scientific issues either.

Another interesting example that I came across was the conflict between Einstein and Bohr. Apparently these two geniuses avoided each other company because they could not agree on the same thing. “If they would have listened to each other’s opinions perhaps they both would have moved out beyond relativity and beyond quantum theory into something new.” (from Dialogue)

One last thing I would like to share with you is my new motto by Krishnamurti, “The cup has to be empty to hold something” (from page 19). This is the secret on how to be more open-minded, less judgmental, and able to learn new things.

p.s. Thanks Shobeir for your recommendation.

4 August 2008


The clock on the Second Cup's wall, Ottawa, July 2008

Whoever knows me a little, knows that I love having a cup of coffee in the morning. Some considers it as my addiction to caffeine, but I think of it as something that helps to look forward to starting a new day. As long as I keep it to one cup a day, I should not be concerned about it. According to an article on Forbes, the Priciest Cup of Coffee in the World can be found in Moscow. I don't understand why the price of coffee should be so expensive in some places comparing the cost of living. While the average cup of coffee in Moscow is $10.19, including service, the same coffee costs $5.04 in Tokyo. The average monthly rent on a two-bedroom luxury apartment in Moscow costs $4,500. While in Tokyo, where space is at a premium, the apartment rent averages out to $5,128.84.

I'm not sure that I would still enjoy my coffee, if I was living in Moscow.

22 July 2008

Mamma Mia!

Mamma Mia!

I've been waiting for Mamma Mia!, the movie, for so long. Unfortunately, I've never seen the play. I know the movie can’t replace it but it is better than nothing. I'll be watching it tonight :D

20 July 2008

In the corner of the street

ByWard Market, Ottawa, July 2008

Every time I've seen him, he was drawing a different picture in the same spot. I think every time when he finishes his drawing, he wipes it away to start a new one the next day. I wish the city would hire him. So he would draw on different walls and his beautiful works would stay permanently.

13 July 2008

Heart Matters (Final Paragraph)

"My father didn't like music and never expressed an opinion on opera. But he made me feel that I was entitled to go, that I could arrive there from out tiny apartment, to wear the red dress, to eat the ice cream. And I have. Which is what he intended. Which is what he dreamed for me".

11 July 2008

Chasing love

Last night as I was watching an interview with Leonard Cohen, he said something interesting. I don't remember the exact wording but he said “As you get older, you become lonelier, and you need a deeper love.”

That is so accurate. God knows how many times I've heard from elderly relatives that you should not wait too long to get married because you become too meticulous. Maybe they are somewhat right but I think the truth is that as you get older and wiser you base your decisions on logic rather than your emotion. You know yourself better and what you are looking for in your future partner. You don't fall in love easily. One small smile or attention from the other person doesn't make you fall for him/her. You become immune to “love at first sight”. I feel safer and hope that other single people out there feel the same way and not feel the pressure that they have to get married. I hope they ignore the social/ cultural expectations that the community imposes on us.

In Hearth matters, I read, in the 60s, people believed that you as a woman will get married, become a teacher, or none of the above and you stay single and miserable. (I don’t remember the page. I will look it up and post it here later). A lot has changed since then and it will continue changing by us everywhere.

3 July 2008

This one will pass too,,,

Thank God for someone name Mom. When you are desperate, you can call her even after 5 min when you just hanged up. Then you can talk and cry your eyes out.

This one will past too. Similar to anything else, good or bad, beautiful or ugly, easy or tough, it will pass. I want to leave it behind me very soon.

27 June 2008

Heart Matters (Part 2)

A Word of Advice from Adrienne Clarkson's Mother

Adrienne Clarkson did not think highly about her mother for several reasons but she mentioned this that her mother always advised her "Marry the man who loves you; don't marry the man you love." page 56- Heart Matters

I wish she would elaborate more on it since her first marriage caused her a lot of unhappiness.

To be continued...

23 June 2008

From a cat to arguments

- I heard one of my roommates saying kindly “what are you doing here? You don’t live here.” Suddenly I heard the other one screaming. Apparently the window balcony was opened and the neighbour’s cat got in. It was the friendliest cat ever. He didn't want to leave. We had to carry him outside and he would come back immediately. I'm wondering why he got so confused to come into our apartment by mistake.

- Argument can be a start of a fight, discussion, art, or dance. It all depends on your cultural background and what is the purpose and goal behind it. Whether it is for confrontation, learning new things, developing a discussion, or sharing different point of views, you might feel differently about arguments. Some people consider avoiding argument as a sign of politeness. Some might regard it as not have the courage to say what you think and believe, or you are being diplomatic.

I know this post is totally random. I wanted to write about the first one since this morning and the second one was the last discussion I had today.

22 June 2008

Heart Matters

I am reading the book “Heart Matters”, the autobiography of Adrianne Clarkson, the first Chinese Canadian woman who was appointed as Governor General. Even though I have not finished the book yet, I am enjoying it very much, that I have to write about it right now and possibly in more than one post.

Her intelligence and wittiness is remarkable in every chapter of this book. Her honesty through out her writing is truly moving. Similarly to anyone else, she has to overcome or pass so many battles in her life to get as far as she have gotten.

Her perspective on life, culture, literature, and even languages is very enlightening. She was born in China and raised in a Chinese family. Although her family does not represent an usual Chinese family but she definitely made a wonderful job analyzing them and comparing them with Canadian families.

I am living in a multicultural society which Chinese community shapes most of it. Reading this book was very eye opening in the sense that I can evaluate the extent of my knowledge about Chinese culture, which does not go further than Chinese food and bubble teas, unfortunately. On page 34, she writes “I realized that the deep-rooted sense of Chinese identity was such that foreign encroachments or displacement to a foreign country mattered very little.” “… if you have one drop of Chinese blood you are Chinese. This sense of strength and identification and belonging is very different from the European idea of race...”

Later on when she moves to France, she has more amusing insight about French culture as well. But what I found the most interesting was her point of view about different languages. On page 97, I read “...language is about communicating the essence of civilization.” I had never thought of language as the way she puts it. The way French was imposed on me while I was living in Quebec, did not make me any good. I did learn French but lack of interest and practice cost me to forget almost everything I learnt. If I had read this book earlier, I would have been more enthusiasm learning French and not simply think of it as the way of communicating and getting a job.

To be continued...

The light that shines for eternity

Chris De Burgh and Arian Band - The Words 'I Love You'

17 June 2008

How is Ottawa like?

  • It takes you approximately 15 min by bus to get to anywhere you want (I haven't notice whether the traffic affects that).
  • You can visit all the interesting sites in one day just by walking around.
  • If you are sitting in the Starbucks having a hot chocolate in downtown Ottawa after 7pm, don't count on seeing anyone around.
Ottawa offers you an adventurous life and I'm not even one of those who like to do crazy things. I'm not complaining. I just had a very funny conversation with my friend about living in Ottawa. This is just to remind myself that I don't want to come back here.

24 May 2008

Tulips: Symbols of the International Friendship

Ottawa- Summer 2008

Ottawa Tulip Festival is one of the largest and best known Tulip Festivals in the world. It is really nice to visit tulip sites and admire one of many beautiful flowers in our planet. The tulips are displayed through out the city but there are three specific locations that form the main attraction sites. The layout, combination of colourful petals, and selective breeding of tulips add to the beauty of this event.

It is interesting that tulips are not the most beautiful aspect of this event but it is the history of the festival itself. The festival dates back to 1946 when Princess Juliana of the Netherlands sent 20,500 bulbs to Ottawa to show her gratitude to Canada for their generosity toward Dutch royal family during the Second World War. She gave birth to her daughter, Princess Margriet, at the Ottawa Civic Hospital in 1943. In order for the new born baby to have exclusively Dutch nationality, she had to be born on Dutch territory. Therefore, Canadian government at that time declared that the maternity room at the Ottawa Civic Hospital
to be officially a temporary part of the Netherlands. This tulip festival symbolizes the International Friendship among the two nations annually.

Someone asked me if I think such a generosity from Canadian would happen today. I believe it would. I found Canadians (most Canadians) genuine and peaceful people. There is no doubt in my mind that they always avoid confrontation and harm. There is nothing more valuable than respecting others values.

22 May 2008

The Internet again!!!

I've survived another week without the Internet. I should totally give up on having Internet connection at my place because whatever we've done so far was unsuccessful. Every time I want to write something here, I have to go to the library and use their Internet. Thank God that I can use it for free. It's really nice although it isn't as convenient as having Internet at home but I'm happy about it and have no complains.

I'm sure I can't write on my blog when I'm at work. Definitely my boss wouldn't appreciate seeing me writing on my blog when I'm supposed to work on the projects and meet short deadlines.

I do miss listening to radiojavan and on-line music since my computer is my radio/TV! Well, what can I do?? maybe spend more time readying all those books I always wanted to read but I didn't have free time for.

7 May 2008

no title

-After a couple of days I'm back to the WWW. It's so hard to live without Internet and not be able to visit the sites you always do. What is it with the human nature that is so hard to change his/her habit but still so adaptable? That is my question.

-I was thinking about which attribute is the most important thing in life and I decided that it is "trust". It's so comforting when you can trust someone so you know you're not alone when you need someone. It's important to be able to trust yourself so it brings you self-confident. It's vital to be able to trust God (or some sort of higher power) since that brings you hope. Then you believe everything is possible,,,

3 May 2008

Another chapter

I'm heading to Ottawa tomorrow to start my summer job. This will be the first time that I'm working for such a huge organization. I've butterflies in the stomach. I'm scared. So many negative thoughts are going through my head now. What if and what if??? I'm pushing everything away. Stop thinking about them.

During the interview, I was told that the job would be in a high pressure environment. I replied no problem; I work better under pressure- which is totally true. This isn't the first time that I'm challenging myself to become (or get closer to) the person I want to be. I could have picked something less demanding, something easier and enjoy my summer in Vancouver with my new friends. But I had to pick this one. I had to do this and go through another move and settle into another new city. I need to work on my self-confidence. This isn't the first time and it won't be the last time. I need to push myself and remind myself over and over that, everything will be fine.

“Where everyone knows you name and they're always glad you came”

photo by Toryg33

I might not spread the word of wisdom by this post but I am sure that it makes you smile. Nothing is better than a silly joke and good laugh when I am worried about something. This is from one of my favourite sitcoms Cheers.

"Well you see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive drinking of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

- Cliff from Cheers

25 April 2008

Wearing a mask

Isn't too awful that I've my blog on-line for the whole world to read but when my mom asked to have my blog’s URL address, I hesitated? I felt so disloyal,,,. I'm very close to my mom (thank god) but you always have something to hide from people you love, only because you want to protect them. I don't want her to be worry about me when I'm going through a tough day. This blog helps me to calm down. I don't want to be conscious of who may or may not read my blog because that may affect what I write about.

20 April 2008

A Familiar Breeze from Esfahan

(the title and photo are hyperlinks)

I had to read all the content of a small website for one of my assignment this term. The website was on Carnegie Libraries of Scotland. It was a brief description about Andrew Carnegie and his legacy. Andrew Carnegie made so many contributions and benevolence toward establishing many public libraries across Scotland and US. The main focus of the website was on the architecture styles of those buildings.

Since I had to index this website, I needed to read its entire content for a couple of times. Though indexing can be time consuming and tedious, I enjoyed doing this assignment because of its interesting content. The website included one of the Carnegie’s letters to Lord Provost of Glasgow . A part of one of the letters reads:

"It will give me pleasure to provide the needed one hundred thousand pounds for Branch Libraries, which are sure to provide a great advantage to the masses of the people. It is just fifty-two years since my parents, with their two little boys, sailed from the Broomielaw* for New York an the barque Wiscassett, 800 tons, and it is delightful to be able to commemorate the event upon my visit to you.

Glasgow has done so much in municipal affairs to educate other cities and to help herself that it is a privilege to help her.

"Let Glasgow flourish!", so say we all of us Scotsmen throughout the world".

What amazed me was the fact that after 52 years, Carnegie had a sentimental attachment to this city. This is something that all immigrants can relate to. No matter how long you have been living in one place and how great you feel about your new adopted home, your root will stay part of you forever.

I was raised in Tehran but my parents are from the City of Esfahan. Every summer we've spent at least one week traveling to Esfahan to visit my mom side of the family. It was a true family reunion and I spent the entire time there “be mehmani” partying. So I didn't have the chance to travel there as a tourist. I haven't visited all the historical sites. I may not know the name of the street in Esfahan and need to ask for direction but I know what "Beryooni" or “Ghara”** is, or what a good “Fereni Starch Pudding” tastes like. Or I can distinguish a sweet original Esfahani accent from a fake one.

It's very amusing to see how far some people go to show their loyalty to their homeland. One of my friends who has impeccable sense of humor once made a funny remark. He claimed that, Adam and Eve were sent to the Naghsh-e Jahan Square after they expelled from the Garden of Eden . I suppose this is a good thing and it adds to the uniqueness of the city. Nonetheless, I adore the city of Esfahan because it's an oasis located in the middle of desert. It's the center of cultural and historical sites in Iran. I love that city because my loved ones live there,,,. I haven't thought about Esfahan for a long time or even felt about it this way. I guess when you are on the other side of the ocean the only thing that matters is that you are Iranian until someone reminds you that Esfahan is a substitution for the Garden of Eden.

*According to the author of the website, the reference in the letter to the "Broomielaw" is referring to the docks in Glasgow. "Let Glasgow Flourish" is the city's motto.
**"Ghara" is synonym for Gharghorot.

Photo: Khajo Bridge- Iran Esfahan, originally uploaded by youngrobv.

10 April 2008

Some notes

UBC Campus, April 9, 2008

One of my recreational activities these days has everything to do with blogs. Even I don't write as much as I should, I enjoy navigating through other people's blogs to see what they've to say. It's like communication in a larger scale and with anyone you find interesting. Although I've a very busy schedule, I always find time to spend on blogs. Internet has opened up a great world and so many new possibilities. I guess all the new tools such as blogs and social networking, give us the chance to publish our own works and share them with others. While the concept of Web 2.0 hasn't been worn out, people start talking about Web 3.0. It's interesting to see what is yet to come.

I'm fairly a recent blogger. I used to keep a diary but never persistently. About a year ago, one of my best friends and a former blogger encouraged me to start my own blog. She used to visit my blog time to time, leave a comment, and encourage me to write more. I loved her blog, her poems, and reading her posts too. Right before she started the medical school, Persian blog got filtered. She lost all those wonderful posts because she never kept a back up. I believe she's too busy and heart broken to start a new blog now.

I don't write often because my schedule has been very hectic specially these past few weeks. Studying full-time, working part-time, and looking for a new job at the same time are very demanding. However, writing my own blog is one of the best practices I do. After writing a post, I feel so accomplished. Maybe one reason is that I need to pool my scattered thoughts in order to be able to write them down. I can claim that I'm too free spirit to need anyone's approval for anything I do. I write my blog for myself and without thinking that someone might find it interesting. Having said all of that it's always nice when someone comes by and shows interest to read my next post. So Shobeir, this isn't irritating but encouraging. Thank you :)

29 March 2008

Today's Google

Why on earth Google is black today?
It gave me an hearth attack when I saw that first. I have no idea what is going on.

I see. It's Earth Hour . Google user in Canada "turned the lights out" on the Google homepage as a gesture to raise awareness of a worldwide energy conservation effort.

22 March 2008

New year, new begining

This is the first Norooz that I'm celebrating without my family. (Maybe the honest version is the first Norooz that I didn't want to celebrate). These past few years, I was the one who went to buy the goldfishes for haftseen and delivered them to my mom. This year, for my first haftseen I didn't have a goldfish. I didn't even want to have a haftseen. Thanks to my new friend and her cousin who came to my place for tahveel, we celebrate the New Year together and away from our own families. I enjoyed their companies. We talked, laughed, and did whatever girl friends do when they get together.

I'm amazed because I'm not even sad or homesick nor I have shut the emotions off. I've accepted it. It was my own choice to go away to study. At least this is what I think right now or I'm just too occupied with other things in my mind. There are so many mixed fellings here. I know I don't make any sense. But one thing is for certain and that is tahveel turned out totally amazing and not the way I planed it. thank god

20 March 2008

Happy New Year

This is what my lovely friend, Gity, sent me today.

"Wishing you a beautiful year, full of good health, satisfaction, laughter and reunions...
May your lips always smile, and your heart be full of joy...
Norooz 1387 mobarak"

and this is what I wish for all my friends and family. Happy New Year

10 March 2008

Kits- my neighborhood

I've always considered myself as a city girl. I've grown up in Tehran and spent almost all my life in big cities. I enjoy the fast-paced life, traffic, noises, and the liveliness of the big cities. Yesterday, I realized I really love my neighborhood (not because it is evergreen and beautiful) but because there are a lot of small stores all along one of the streets. There is no shopping mall close by. All the stores are privet own shops. Although it's a big city, it has the charm of smaller towns. I can sit in the bus for hours, look out side, watching people passing by, walking their dogs, or doing other things. I don't even want to read in the bus. There are other times that I get off the bus couple of stops before I reach my destination, so I can walk on the sidewalk. Specially these days that I can feel the spring, I want to enjoy it as much as I can. I wish I live here after I graduate (should add this to my list).

11 February 2008

The Weekend

My eventful weekend is ended. I had a lot of fun by seeing my sister again. Also discovering, she was reading my blog all this time and I didn't have any clue. I'm happy that I didn't write anything against her here :)
The most interesting thing about this weekend was the Chinese New Year celebration and watching the Dragon Parade. I need to do some serious research on that- how Chinese people celebrate the New Year and what all those ceremonies symbolize the start of a new year. However, I won't get to this for now because I have a very busy week a head of me.

Vancouver, the City of Glass, February 2008-I can 't get any credit for this picture because it wasn't I who took it.

1 February 2008

No title

You know those people you have the most impossible stories/ideas/beliefs. You listen to them and listen to them – out of courtesy and the fact that you think of yourself as an open-minded person. You think lets see what he/she is talking about maybe,,, . So they go on and on and try to change your mind, give you a lesson, or educate you. They also know themselves as the most open-minded people alive to be able to come up with these sorts of stuff. Then when it's you turn to reciprocate and talk about your opinion, they just shut you up.
The fact is that I'm done listening and I really don't want to talk either.

29 January 2008

The magic of mother-tongue

Holiday memoirs, part I, Jan 7th 2008

What is it about the mother tongue that no matter how fluent you are in another language, it's not your mother language. Thus, it doesn't have that same effects on you as your first language. Nothing can substitute your first language. I do miss Farsi more than I miss Iran itself. I remember a time when a car pulled over to ask me a direction. When we both realized we were Iranian, I gave him the direction in Farsi. It was such a wonderful feeling- talking to a random person in Farsi. Even songs and music have different essence when they are in Farsi.

Having said that, it reminded me my trip back from Montreal. My flight was 2 hours delayed because of the weather condition. There it was a heavy fog in Montreal in January. As soon as the plane took off, we experienced some heavy turbulence which continued through out the flight. I didn't mind; these sorts of things barely affect me. But that wasn't the case with my fellow passenger next to me; 21 years old Sara, who started shaking and panicking. She wasn't able to talk and I really feared for her life. No one could do anything to calm her down. We had to ask the flight attendant to come to her rescue. Nothing worked until the flight attendant realized that Sara and he were sharing similar first language which was Arabic. He started singing an Arabic song to her. It was amazing to see the effect of that song on her. She started to breath normally and eventually asked for water.

14 January 2008

The first blossom

Holiday memoirs, part I, Dec 23 rd 2007

The Azalea finally bloomed in the middle of the winter. To be honest, when I was changing its flower pot last summer, I never thought it would make any difference and the poor plant would come back to life. But here there are buds of joy. I hope it flowers until “aide Norooz”.

13 January 2008

A promise

I've become a stranger to my own blog. Such a shame :(

I promise myself to do better from now on and post more often, no matter how busy it gets. This blog is important to me.

1 January 2008

Happy New Year!
Hope it'll be better than 2007 for my family, relatives, my friends, and myself.

These are some interesting e-cards which I found in the Facebook.