"I'm not here to spit in your face; I'm here to blow at your back." Modern Family
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A lonely planet called earth
It has been Sex and the City marathon. I was watching the episode which Miranda signed off on her mortgage. Couple of days later due to fear of never getting married, dying alone, and being eaten by her cat, she had a panic attack. It reminded me of the time that I signed those papers for my small apartment and on my walk back I was crying the whole way realizing that this was not what I wanted. I didn’t want to do it alone. I always imagined if I ever do it, it will be with a partner. No matter if you marry someday or not, there are always things that you have to do on your own. So maybe it is better if you don’t get married for security because the only person that needs to make you feel secure is you and only you.
Because in so many occasions people (or so called friends) abused my kindness towards them, I have turned to a cold hearted person with no desire to help anyone in any circumstance. The other day, the neighbour saw me in the hallway and asked me if I had change for laundry. I didn’t even bother to check. I said no. Even for such a simple request, I didn’t want to spend any time.
