2 February 2011

I can't talk out load...

These days, I talk to myself, in my head, more than ever but the sad part is this blog became a stranger. I cannot transfer one or two of those scattered, confusing thoughts from my brain to here. I don't understand why. Maybe because I didn't want to confess or to admit that I do the same mistake over and over. My problem is I don't want to believe in good in people. I am always skeptical about people's good nature. I can easily sabotage my own happiness because it is the easy way out. Because this is my defense mechanism to avoid being hurt. 

3 comments:

Lotus said...

But you wrote this :)

I know what you are saying ... things that bring you out of the repeated talks (the circle ;) in your head are good (as long as they are not extreme :)

Talking is good, especially if you can get to the points of shame and anger, in my experience ... but you need close friends that you can trust, the more trust you have in your friend, the more valuable becomes the process

I guess ultimately you want to see yourself without judgment, I have not experienced this yet, but I like instances that I am more absorbed in living than in judging :)

Be patient and so small things with whole heart, solutions come in their own time ;)

Grumpy smurf said...

Daisy jaan,
I am so glad you wrote (I´ve missed you so much).
Lotus jaan has right (like always-he is our teacher in questions of mind ;)). I think we all need to love ourselfes MORE and we should be kind to us like we are kind to other people!
Miss you azizam!

Daisy said...

This is less than one 10th of what is going on in this head. Besides unlike other times I had to force myself to write :)
I agree with both of you. having trustworthy friends is the only thing that can help you during these times.
and I am trying to be kinder to myself... you should promise me the same.