26 February 2011

I also have vulnerability issue!

... and I knew about it but I didn’t know it was a problem.

Brene Brown has a very good sense of humour. She speaks gracefully and makes me want to listen to her forever. I can relate to this talk easily. When she said “you know that how there are people that think vulnerability and tenderness are important and they walk into it, a) that is not me, b) I don’t even hang out with people like that.” I thought that is so me.

Connection is the core of life and the reason why we are here. I agree with this completely.

She identifies some people, who have strong sense of love and belonging and they know they are worthy of it, as the wholehearted people. What else do they have is the sense of courage. They tell the story of who they are the way they are. They accept imperfections. They treat themselves with kindness and compassion.

Then she adds, let go of who you should be for who you really are. Fully embrace vulnerability. Think of it as something that is necessary. Take risk and invest in a relationship that it may or may not work out.

We live in a vulnerable world. I live in uncertain world. I don’t know what will happen in future. I am imperfect so are other people. I put everyone else before myself and I don’t treat myself with enough kindness and compassion. I should let myself to be seen. I should practice gratitude and happiness. I am enough.

Anyway, I listen to this talk 3 time two nights ago. It really influenced me and I tried to put it into practice. It turned out to be a disaster. Being vulnerable didn’t bring me anything but sadness and disappointment. I know I am echoing Brene Brown and confessing toward my fear. I know I know. After sometime when I felt less emotional and I could think again, I started reflecting on what happened and my whole life. I have decided to do what she said but start with baby steps. I have to be smart and be selective about who I am vulnerable toward. Connection is the core of life and the reason why we are here. I agree with this completely but I also think that not everyone is worthy to be connected to me and my love ones.


Grumpy smurf said...

I had a look at her talk again. She is good in storytelling and she is right in lots of things...I think she just forgot to mention luck! As more as I am thinking over it I think it is a key....

Maman said...

I should probably listen to the talk first. But i think it is stupid to show your vulnerability. I have never ever got anything good out of it. It is more important to be smart and show confidence. others like confident people and trust them and wants to hang out with etc... but not with someone who shows sign of weakness.

Lotus said...

The secret is in designing sensible practices, I think. Keep "Nigel March" words about "moderation", even when changing and improving things, in mind ... I do not know the answers to the issues you raised because I am still a newcomer to connection/vulnerability, but I am confident that you will find your answers if you keep practicing, and continue being curious :)
Good luck!