31 July 2009

I have heard that we do not retain memories associated with pain. We only remember them as unpleasant feelings but not the actual pain. Maybe that is the reason that women go through multiple childbirths although they are painful.

22 July 2009

"We are all prefect, the way God has made us".
Mia Michaels

10 July 2009

Farewell Vancouver

Some notes from July 06

Saying goodbye to this beautiful city is hard. I had the time of my life here. No matter what time of the year; when I would look out of my bedroom window, I could see green trees. I never got tired of this view or the view of downtown Vancouver from one of the bridges. I always admired the cherry blossoms on the Lower Mall and always held my breath when I was looking at the water and mountains from the Rose Garden.

I have met some of the most interesting and not so interesting people here. I found friendship in people I least expected. I also got to know myself better. I never thought I would attach to a place again. You would think when you move a lot and leave your friends behind for couple of times, you get use to it. But that hasn’t happened to me yet. I guess it never will. I got emotional as I said goodbye to some of my friends.

I want to be excited for the start of a new chapter in my life but it seems more that I’m living in a denial. I don’t even feel anxious. I feel empty. I have cut all the wires from my brain to my heart. Every time I feel sad, I block all those thoughts. I have even stopped dreaming. I know I should be proud of myself to have the courage to make another move, another change yet the truth is I’m taking it one day at a time. I have stopped doing long term planning because that is the only way I can keep going. Every time I’ve taken a risk (not that many), it turned out to be in my advantage. I hope this time is the case as well. I hope the universe nudges me toward new adventures beyond my imagination. I must start dreaming again...

2 July 2009


It is an eye-opening experience to see your own culture through someone else’s eyes. I mean a non-Iranian; someone who has a fresh perspective about the traditions and culture that I am so accustomed to. I had this chance when I read Poets & Pahlevans : a journey into the heart of Iran by Marcello Di Cintio. I am reading it again. I would like to share one paragraph from this amazing book. It seems to be appropriate for these days.

"The Persians have a word for this: fotovat. It is the combination of unabashed masculinity with chivalry and kindness. The word is old-fashioned and is rarely used any more, but lingers in the memories of men like the prefect world of poetry and the skills of old wrestlers. I learned much from the Persians, and could strive for fotovat, but I would never have what they had. Through war and sorrow, revolution and oppression, crown and turban, through all that Iranians have lost and may yet lose, they will never lose this. Civility is their birthright, the gift of their culture, and the inheritance of poets and pahlevans."

From Poets & Pahlevans : a journey into the heart of Iran (p. 289) by Marcello Di Cintio 2006

1st of July

My blog is calling me ....

I thought I would never felt how it would be like to celebrate 1st of July till I left Quebec and lived somewhere that actually care about their Independence Day. I was partially right; while I still really don’t know how I should feel, I know how it is like and I am part of the crowd celebrating this day. I try to enjoy a day off. Life is too short to miss out on celebrations and moments like this.

Happy Canada Day!